Letter To Suicide

Dear Suicide,

Shame on you for sneaking into my life. You have caused irreparable damage within my heart and left a dark hole in my soul. I started incredibly angry with you for changing my life with no way it would ever resemble what it once was. You were sneaky to plant guilt and blame onto me instead of where it lies: with you. She was vulnerable, and you swooped in with your lies that she was a burden and unloved. How dare you for making her believe you were her only choice. I know her life isn’t the only one you’ve penetrated. My forever is weighed down with your existence strapped to my back. The only difference is, I will never believe you that no one cares, and I am all alone. You will never take me. Not only that, I have a power you didn’t see coming. I know the signs you are near, and I can help others fight you hard. I realize the sad, sick, and the lonely look to you to relieve their pain only to cause their loved ones immeasurable amounts. Unfortunately, I will forever carry you with me, but you will now become my strength and not my weakness. I miss my Shannon beyond words, so much my heart still shutters with devastation. I have never felt numb or even alright with losing my beautiful Shanni. Nothing has ever filled that loss, but joy does find a way to ride along. Thank you, suicide for teaching me to never take any moment for granted and always to tell my loved ones how important each of them is. You have helped me notice others’ pain with a powerful empathy I now consider a gift. I hate you for taking my beautiful Shannon 10 short years ago, but I am grateful for the lessons I have learned.

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